Lindsay Lohan and her Wo(man) Get into a Fight. Cause: Calum Best

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Looks like there's a tiff with Lindsay and Sam because of Calum. Calum if I may add, seems to be losing hair like most ugly brit guys. Thankfully, I'm so good looking I even have hair at places where I don't need. Mistake me for a primate you say? Well, that's what not the ladies say...

A source said Lohan and Calum danced together which made Sam one angry lesbian. Lindsay and Sam apparently started fighting which ended in both of them leaving the club. They got into the car together, but when they arrived back at their hotel, Sam stormed off in a cloud of saw dust.

No scissoring tonite. Aw that sucks.


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Eva Longoria Girdle Up Skirt Moment

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Eva Longoria got out of a car and flashed her tight girdle. Which is surprising and shocking. I thought women only wore girdles during the 1800s. Not only am I saddened by this, I feel very enraged for someone like Eva to be able to wear them.

SPANX, Inc. is a U.S. company which mainly manufactures footless pantyhose and other undergarments for women, particularly "body shaping" undergarments designed to give the wearer a slim and shapely appearance. The company's products are supposedly marketed to fit contemporary female lifestyles and fashion trends.

So all this while that bikini bod of her's was because of Spanx? Well no spanx you then. Wonder what Tony Parker has to say about all of this. Is he enraged too? Can he still shoot hoops now that his wife is like his grandmother? What happened to all that desperateness?


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Suri Cruise Is a Winner

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What do you have to say? Suri is so cute I'd post more pictures of her if I didn't suspect she was actually the product of Ron L Hubbard. In fact she's so cute she topped Forbes.com "Hollywood's 10 Hottest Tots" list.

But as the economy heads toward what many predict is a recession, these adorable kids--and the desire to chronicle their upbringings--may become more important than ever. Simply put, fawning over celebrities and their picturesque families may be just the sort of distraction people need.
Dina Sansing, entertainment director for Us Weekly agrees:"It's much more fun to look at cute pictures of Suri," she says, "than think about how much your 401(k) has decreased."
Suri's first place ranking on the list comes from strong performances across the board. She earned the top spot for public awareness, received more blog mentions than any other Tinseltown kiddie and was referenced in more than 1,300 news articles.

Here's the complete list of high-powered spawns:

1. Suri Cruise
2. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt
3. Zahara Jolie-Pitt
4. Pax Jolie-Pitt
5. Sam Alexis Woods
6. Cruz Beckham
7. Matilda Rose Ledger
8. David Banda
9. Sean Preston Federline
10. Sam Sheen

A big clan of the Jolie-Pitts are in there and I'm not surprised next year 10 of them would be in there. Hint: Angelina just needs another 4.


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Megan Fox Does Bikini For GQ

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What a way to start the day. Nothing better than some hot Megan Fox bikini shots. Wait are those chesticles real? When did they start growing bigger? I may be mistaken, since, morning vision is always blurry. And the weather is cold. Brr. Times like these I wonder why I'm even at work. But wait, wonder no more!


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Nicole Kidman Slips a Nipple (sort of), and Wants To Quit Acting

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Some good and bad news. Bad news is that Nicole Kidman wore a dress that showed the areola of her nipple while wearing some nice satin looking dress. Good news is, she's going to quit acting to have more children and spend time learning how to speak Klingon with her husband Keith Urban. The Daily Mail says...

She also revealed she's considering a hiatus from acting to have more children.  'I'm in a place in my life where I've had some great opportunities, and I may just choose to have some more children,' said the 41-year-old, who has a 4-month-old girl with Urban and two adopted children Isabella, 15, and Connor, 13, from her marriage to Tom Cruise. 'There's many things I want to do besides act.'

Yes Nicole has many more things to do. And becoming Bai Ling is not one of them. So let's just say in a nip battle between Nicole and Bai Ling is almost like that story in the bible. David and Golliath! Rawr!


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Ed Hardy Fashion Lingerie Show For Those Who Prefer Skanky

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If you missed out on yesterday's massive Victoria's Secret fashion show post, and gorgeous smoking hot women aren't really your type, then I present you a skanky version of models presenting Ed Hardy's line of lingerie. They aren't all that bad, and my standards are extremely high, but beggars can't be choosers. Its models in lingerie! Don't be picky!


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Charlize Theron Is The Accessory For Ugliness

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Just go right ahead and stand next to Charlize Theron if you're ugly. Because I can guarantee you, everyone will hate you and be jealous of you. If these pictures are not proof enough that Charlize could very well be the cure for a fever and a sore throat, then I think some scientists somewhere should start evaluating their professional opinions.


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Britney's New Life Like Prison

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Britney's comeback made it seem as if everything's going well. She's not even using her kids as ashtrays anymore. And she's ridiculously stunning. Which woman does not want any of that? However, Britney broke down in tears when she said her new life was no better than prison, in fact, the latter would be better. The Sun says…

A WEEPING Britney Spears has admitted her new image is a SHAM — and claims she would feel freer if she was in prison.
The troubled pop princess moans that her new controlled lifestyle after hitting rock bottom last year feels “like Groundhog Day”.
Britney, 26, stunned delighted fans by bouncing back from her breakdown. But in a new fly-on-the-wall documentary she tearfully admits: “There’s no excitement, there’s no passion.
“I have really good days, and then I have bad days. Even when you go to jail you know there’s the time when you’re gonna get out.
“But in this situation, it’s never ending. It’s just like Groundhog Day every day.”
Britney, who performs on X Factor next weekend, believes she is still “paying” for her public meltdown when she shaved her head and lost custody of her two sons.
She says: “I think it’s too in control. If I wasn’t under the restraints I’m under, I’d feel so liberated. When I tell them the way I feel, it’s like they hear but they’re really not listening.
“If you do something wrong in your work, you can move on, but I’m having to pay for a long time.
“I never wanted to become one of those prisoner people. I always wanted to feel free.”
She adds: “I think I’ve learnt my lesson now and enough is enough.”

Mother always said those air brushing fairies would take your troubles away. And it did! Is this propaganda? This isn't good. Britney might have a relapse of crazy. And by then the whole world will see her true colors, once more...



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Maybe She Overdid The Collagen

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Here comes the part where I laugh at Jessica Simpson's lips but no, I'm refraining from doing such things nowadays. Unless you start looking like a duck, in which this case, clearly she's almost getting there. Sexy? No sexy? Your say please.


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Meg Ryan Is a Hot Piece Of...

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I say this with fear for my incredibly busty girlfriend. Wear a bra to avoid this phenomenon. Which I call.."the Meg Ryan". Dennis Quaid, you are a visionary.
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