How To Get Over A Break Up :: 2008/04/22 13:40
One of the worst things in life is breaking up with a companion in a relationship. However difficult it is to move on with your life after a breakup, it is something that it seems almost all of us have to go through at least once in our lives. Avoiding the break up is not always in our control. The best thing to do, since it is not in our hands to avoid breaking up, is to know how to handle and get over a break up. Though getting over a breakup will never be an easy thing to do, with a few helpful things to keep in mind, breaking up can be something that will not ruin your life. Making a clean break, expressing your feelings, and taking charge of your life are tools to make breaking up easier.
The first thing to getting over a break up is making a clean break with your ex-mate. Many people try to leave a relationship mutually and stay friends. This rarely works and makes for a difficult time for the exes in the relationship to move on in a healthy way. If you are constantly running into each other and trying to be friends, the ex-partners always have to be linked with each other. If there is a clean break, eventually starting over will be easier because of it. Another part of making a clean break is to get rid of old emails, love letters, pictures, and mementos. This helps people move on as well, not having a constant reminder of the other person.
Another way to move on with your life quicker after separating with your partner is to express your feelings. It helps to have a journal in which you write down thoughts and feelings that you are experiencing during this difficult time. Journaling can help provide an outlet for feelings that are being bottled up and not released. When having negative feelings, it can be easy for someone to get wrapped up in them. Try to keep these negative feelings and thoughts out of your mind. Dwelling on them will not help, and will ultimately harm your efforts to move on.
The last step that will help you move on from your past relationship is to take charge of your own life. Decide who and what deserves your attention. Catching someone on the rebound after you’ve just left a serious relationship is not the way to find a lasting bond. Also, take the time to spoil yourself. You will sometimes feel lonely and depressed. This is completely normal. Take some time to yourself and go to a movie, a fancy dinner, or just go hang with your friends. Sometimes you have to pamper yourself to believe in your self worth. Simply focus on you. Another great thing to do to alter your mood is to change your bedding, and your surroundings. This can help you make a fresh start in your own house. Making a fresh start is key to finding a way to get over a broken relationship.
There is no magic word or magic wand that exists to make the hurt and feeling of betrayal go away. There are, however, ways to make the pain easier. Making sure you make a clean break, never lie to yourself about your feelings, to focus on yourself and take charge of your own life. This will help you move on after a break up. There is no set guide on how to get over a break up for every person, but knowing some basics can help you seek new things in life and leave your old life and memories behind.
Surviving The Challenge Of Long Distance Relationships :: 2008/04/22 13:40
Conventional wisdom tells us that absence makes the heart grow fonder. It also delivers a further disturbing homily: out of sight, out of mind. So how ought one keep long distance relationships going? Do you trust that the distance will add to your love? Or do you work out ways and means to ensure the relationship wont die and deteriorate?
The challenge nowadays is particularly severe. As more and more young men and women are working in far-away places, away from each other. The traditional way to connect to each other by loving touches, caresses or cuddling are not there. Additionally, absent are opportunities to spend quality time in each others company as well as in the company of friends and relatives and acquaintances. What about conflicts and arguments? These, in their own way, strengthen relationships and can make them more fulfilling. If your are apart, then it is extremely difficult to resolve these in a nurturing way.
So how do long distance couples maintain their relationships and keep on going? One way is to bring your partner near to you by placing their photograph on your desk, kitchen counter and in the bedroom. This will remind you of your companion all the time. You should also regularly update your common acquaintances with your partner and not allow him or her go out of your social loop. This will help maintain the picture of your partner constantly fresh in your mind.
Use e-mail, chat and voice mail to stay in constant touch with your partner. This communication need not be limited to How much I miss you and love you line but to real discussions concerning day to day issues. You furthermore have to work out who will take care of kids. The choice ought to be based on practicality, and not on customary arguments that the mother ought to bring up the child.
Yes, the mother is most suitable to bring up a child. But if she is working in a place where there are no decent schools then it is the father who has to accept this responsibility. So, even if you are separated, your problems are the same as any couple, and you should still try to resolve them together as a team.
Try and be with each other on at least one occasion a month or once a quarter depending upon the circumstances. Also do not insist that only your partner ought to travel. You also must take time off your agenda and visit your partner as well. Allow there to be a healthy and common respect for each others work. Only then will your relationship endure across the long distance.
Thought it is tough to thrive in this type of situation, a strong trusting relationship will endure this. In the end the hardships faced as a team can be a really positive long term binding effect for the future of the relationship.