Boy / Girl Friendships :: 2006/06/06 11:35
Your friendship will only survive if you can understand that he has feelings for this other girl. She will feel your friendship soley with him will be a threat unless you become friends with her as well and the three of you do some things together where she will feel less threatend by your friendship with her boyfriend.
Just try not to be hurt if he spends a lot of time with her and gradually loses contact with you. You will have a lot of "best friends" in your life. Just cherish the times you spend together with each of them....nobody can take away fond memories.
Can boy/girl best friendships survive a significant other? :: 2006/06/06 11:15
The person I consider my best friend in the whole world is a guy (I'm a girl). He was my brother's best friend, but when my brother moved away, this friend and I became close. We used to do everything together, but now, he has a girlfriend. The girlfriend and I haven't spent much time together, so we don't know each other. I just wonder if our friendship can survive? He says that nothing is going to change between us, but I just don't see how it wouldn't. Do I need to prepare to lose my best friend?
Common Misconceptions :: 2006/06/05 13:46
My list of 6 common misconceptions guys taking the commonly nice subtle rejection
1. They think you like them, and want them to try harder.
2. You're busy, as always, so he'll try again later.
3. Work's been hectic, so you really need to sleep.
4. You're only saying you have a bf, because you thought it was the wrong choice.
5. There's still hope in the face of defeat.
6. We want you bad enough to say we're not interested in you.
Dont believe what others say :: 2006/06/05 10:30
Sometimes we find that we are too responsive to what we people have to say about us. In the game where heartache is so apparent, its never enough that we have to deal with people trying to dump us, play with our feelings, and well, make hell for us, why do we have to go the extra mile in listening to what intelligent smut they have to say about us?
I find it difficult to understand why most people even suffer from the disease of group think.
Jane's definition of group think would be, letting the influences or collective words and conclusions of a certain set of group come to a conclusion and answer to what you may be, what they think of you, and how you should suit those decisions of theirs.
Don;t listen to what others have to say. And don't believe them.
Chances are, they are either too selfish to compare their less likely exciting self, to others which makes them nothing but lemmings.
In my experience of breakups, and being around with one too many people breaking up, even now, I'm very accustomed to being self confident, with my own decisions, and how I should handle my situation.
True that sometimes we need advice, but advice can be quickly misread as judgement.
Don't believe what others say. Decide for yourself. But keep an open ear.
Dangers of Kiss and Tell :: 2006/06/02 16:48
Quite recently, I kissed a guy and nothing more. I find how big of an ego guys get when they go around telling that they've went way more than the kissing stage.
Staging a play it seems, are what most guys would do. In order to save face, and to get the group to collectively feel that he da man, he da man, he would have to go all the way to say i've done this and that and this and that with her, and the next week i didnt call her or answer her calls, etc.
I was quite upset with such display of low esteem coming from a guy. It's as if I had more testosterone in me.
Quite frankly, I cannot remember what I did after that, but we never hooked up, and I told everyone he had bad breath and said the reason why i didn't go any further because i saw it once and that it was too small.
The Ex-Factor :: 2006/06/01 19:27
Have you ever felt uncomfortable with an ex in the same room. Particularly one whom you had been with for quite some time, and that it was an extremely bad break, that neither of you have ever spoken a word since. In specific, having your ex date your best friend behind your back, then later on telling you how good it was that they never had to go through whatever you and your ex went through?
I once had the unfortunate opportunity, but I breezed through it naturally like an experienced player on the field. The ex, whom cliched his way by saying, 'after all these years, i still have feelings for you,' which typically translates to 'i'm single, lonely, desperate and have been out of action for way too long, why don't we hook up, for a week if possible, right before you get emotionally attached to me again, so i don't have to deal with all that chummy musshy stuff you put me through when we were together'.
I aptly replied, why thats very honest of you, why don't you meet me tonite at the mall, and we could maybe go for a drink, followed by a wink. I decided to not go, but give false hopes to him, because of what he had done, so he would deserve humiliation. I prompted to call and send out mass emails to everyone about how much of a loser he was and told stuff, too embarrassing to say here, that made him the butt of all jokes with his friends.
Needless to say, I've gotten over the ex-factor way too long ago to even shrug about how uncomfortable it would be. Nowadays I just wave, and give a cocky smile that says thank you for breaking up with me, because I'm way better off without such baggage.
Janet and Todd :: 2006/06/01 17:28
Janet and Turd, used to be best friends in college. By definition of best friends in today's world, we mean friends of benefits. They've been at it for quite some time so they decided to 'fall in love' and let love lead the way, instead of the occasional booty call that Turd loves. Although he claims, that he was only seeing her during their friends of benefit period, I am highly skeptical of such.
Despite that, they actually made it past the 1 year mark, and Janet was astonishingly 'in love' with Turd, though it was obvious to me, since I'm sort of best friends (girls can have girl best friends) with Janet, I hang with her every now and then. We talk about the sort of heartache and how to avoid them, but its somehow senseless in any manner that we can even think when such is executed.
Ok, so Turd one day drops the bomb on Janet. Telling her that its time for him to move on, because apparently he's got to prioritise his career, and that having her in his life would just mean that he would have to spend time with her, give her attention, and but of course, hamper his plans for high esteemed dreams of becoming somebody in corporate figurine.
Janet says that she will be able to cope, moreover she's not very demanding, and always letting him have his space, as often as possible, as to not let the relationship turn sour. She says that she will be by her side no matter what happens, the point is she wants to have a go at it.
Turd is insistent to break up, or dump Janet, so he goes to the extent of introducing his new girl friend, who he's been seeing for the past 6 months.
The story turns extremely bad here, because there's some love giving in form of physical blows to Turd's face. Todd I mean. After all, if you've been reading past here, you would have figured that Todd deserves to be called Turd.
Janet consequently turned the tables around, and dumped him instead and went out with his real best friend (a guy), and they've been together since.
Love and Liquor :: 2006/05/31 19:19
They go hand in hand, like an old married couple content to hold each other. They also go hand in hand when love don't come your way.
Love hurts. Love sucks. Love is every horrible feeling you can think about, and yet we still crave for the feeling of love, to be love, to love someone, and we stand openly and let love attack us with all its negative sides.
I've been asked many times, with this particular question.
'Hey Jane. You wanna go for a drink? Dan just dumped me. I feel like i need one badly right now'
To which i usually respond, sure.
I'm always up for drinks, in especially in the presence of someone close enough, but I do not encourage love and liquor to be mixed. There's many scary things that you don't want to see but end up seeing because of the poison.
No matter what it is, though it can be quite a remedy, it is only short-termed. The backlash effects of it can be quite worse, and even so, if you cannot remember what the hell happened.
To make matters worse, you wake up finding yourself in an apartment not knowing who's, where, and why you are there.
How to get over breakups :: 2006/05/30 21:51
This one is slightly difficult. Assuming you follow a path of timeframe which I can create a poor chart for you to follow
What to do
3 months -> Go out and party and find the next person to solicitate with
6 months -> Check your EX's friends out.
1 year -> You might be bored already at this point of time, so getting over is pretty simple. The remedy would be alot of TV, Internet, and sleep.
2 years -> You've been playing house for over 2 years, and now that you are free, though sad, you find yourself in a state of idle not knowing what to do. Here's what you need to do. Go out, party, get drunk, and find a friend to play around with just for fun. Just for fun.
3 years -> Do the same as 2 years
7 years -> anybody who can throw away 7 years, would probably be the reason of 3 years being sour already but having extreme guilt or feeling of obligation to the person. What you need to do, is to completely cut yourself of pictures, memories, smses, emails, etc etc of that particular person and repeat the cycle above.
Please don't ask me how you would be able to find another partner after that.
Its not me, Its you. :: 2006/05/29 15:49
I'm sure you've heard of this line before: Its not you Its me. Its the inevitable sorry ass good for nothing, typical and attypical scum excuse for breaking up. I've been through a total of 3 relationships that have that said to my face, 2 to over the phone, and 6 other unsuccessful attempts as I managed to force a much more reasonable and acceptable reason.
Breaking up is hard to do. And persuading in fact, is not really a good thing, because if they want to go, then there's really nothing you can do to stop it. In fact, if they want to go, make sure you have some form of leverage that you can use them in future, because all relationships end sour, and can turn for the worse if your nightmare comes true.
An example of this would be finding out you are suddenly an accidental porn star like that poor lady in some kampung. Looks like its the city for her now.
As for a suggestion for future breakups. as for any hint of that line coming up, I will prompty interrupt and say, its not me, its you. You suck. And you don't deserve any part of me.
I find it difficult to take sides with any side of sex, because relationships are complex and too complicated for most to comprehend. Even the term, what do women want, is stil a mystery to most.
And from some authors like Scott Adams, saying that women have only 2 goals in life which is:
1. To be angry
2. Find a reason to be angry
Its true, and as a woman myself finding any excuse to cover and warrant for breakups is the boredom and nonexistent reason for being angry anymore at my partner.
So long and goodbye. Its not me, its you.